Ba Humbug

Holidays Holidays Holidays

I feel like oven mit the the Arby's commercials - "WILL IT NEVER END?"

To much of the family gatherings - not enough time for me!

Holidays are suppose to be for spending time with those you love, but what about spending time with myself and not worring about all the inlaws?

All these family stories just leave me feeling confused!

Why is it always me?

Well lets see my dogs is sick (she has the flu) this is worse than when a human as the flu. She is such a good dog and I feel so bad for her, I know I hate the flu.

Had a board of directors meeting the other day, I have always heard the expression shit rolls down hill, I must be in a ravine.

My work meeting went off without a hitch - B.S. my way through what I am working on :-)

All this stuff getting piled on me at the same time really leaves me feeling depressed and confused!

Meetings & Updates!

Meeting:
I had to get up extra early today, which tends to leave me a little groggy all day. I also have a head cold which always leaves me feeling shitty.

1-24oz cappuccino & 2 cups of coffee and I still feel like going back to bed!

Next week I must give an update on my projects - great, now I have to do something!


Update on my confusion:

If there was one thing that I think that could ease my mind it would be.......

Saying I am sorry to the old girlfriends that I treated like crap all them years ago.
Two of these deserve more apologies that I could ever give them.

Why do I feel so guilty? I could not make my mind up who the right one for me was.

Maybe this is normal and maybe they do not hold it against me, but my mind tells me that I need to tell them I am sorry.

They (both of them) could have been the best thing that ever happened in my young life.
Some people never find that one true love - I had two and I screwed it up with both of them!

All this just adds to my confused life!

Christmas depression?

If there is such a thing as Christmas depression - I have it.

Why must I go to relatives houses and give them presents that I spend all my money on? Wasn't this a religious holiday? How did it turn into this?

I say if somebody wants to wish me a marry Christmas they can come to my house or call me, if I want to wish them a marry Christmas I can call or send a card!

I am all for the day off of work, but all this fuss really cuts into my time of pondering the worlds and my problems.

All of this just leaves me really confused!

I think I have come to a fork in the road

Well as most people know, when you come to a fork in the road you turn one way or another.

My fork in the road could be a turning point in my life, so which way to go?

I do not know, there are to many variables involved, to many emotions involved.


I think I am confused!

I really think there is something wrong!

Well this continues on from yesterday - I think, maybe not.

Anyway, I was doing my normal thinking and all of a sudden my mind starts thinking about letters that my ex-girlfriend wrote me, about 15 years ago.

I know most people do not keep this sort of thing, but I happen to keep almost everything.

Is this a sign that I miss the feeling that came with getting a token of somebody's love or does this mean I have some sort of medical term assigned to me?

Well any how, I think I am confused!

Is it just me?

I think my mind has some problems, maybe adult add or maybe just complete insanity.

I lay in bed and can be thinking, I mean deep in thought, about how to make myself rich or something similar and my mind wonders off onto something that is not important.

Why, when I lay in bed, would I be thinking about past girlfriends from 15 years ago or god forbid work.

I think I am confused!